While I’m venting my frustrations, I want to explain to everyone why I don’t really enjoy going to “izakaya” or many restaurants as a form of multi-hour social activity:
1) Many of them are smoky or have smoke filled “non-smoking” areas. Today I was dragged out to a dinner party with the students I teach English to once a week and I couldn’t believe it when a waitress came in the middle of our meal with a “cigarette” menu offering group discounts! Half a dozen students immediately bought packs from her flashy menu and started smoking in the middle of the meal, then complaining that the taste of the cigarettes interfered with the taste of their curry. I almost got up and left in disbelief and certainly didn’t enjoy the rest of my smoke filled meal. In other places I can’t help but laugh to see the non-smoking section in a glass box at the back of the restaurant (are we the ones poisoning the air?), or a mere handful of tables surrounded by a large smoking section.
2) Many of these places are really noisy, and thus, like many bars, you can’t have a decent conversation, I can’t relax, and often leave more exhausted than when I went in.
3) Much of the social activity revolves around drinking lots of alcohol. I have nothing against drinking, as people apparently get some kind of pleasant feeling from the consumption of it. Since I never drink myself I can’t attest to this. Surfeit of it, however, kills discussion with content of any complexity. I was told on several occasions this evening in the middle of an interesting talk that my friends in conversation couldn’t articulate their points due to their excess intake of alcohol. This happens so often at events like this that I tend to automatically go into my special reactive mode: “Stop all attempts at conversation and spend the rest of the time watching people say stupid things. Think of a good excuse to leave and use it whenever you think people are focused enough to understand what you are saying.”
4) In the case of Izakayas, the alcohol to food ratio is horribly tilted to alcohol. I have no motivation to go spend the equivalent of $30 on $3 of mediocre finger food and two glasses of orange juice. Note to all friends: Never invite me to an “izakaya” or a “nomiya”, I am not interested and will only go if I’m pressured into it.
Like most people I love to join friends for good food and good conversation. However, I find these to be incompatible with smoke, noise, and in “izakaya” culture, with my wallet.
I hate the way smokers behave as if it’s non-smokers who’ve got the problem. Jeeze! We’re not the ones who are suicidal drug addicts.
I had to deal with the exact same problem while I was a student at Ritsumeikan. In the dormatory where I lived, there were only 2 forms of entertainment: nomikai and karaoke. I ended up being very antisocial because being social meant going to places that were full of alchohol and tobacco. I went to the nomikai a few times because it was someone’s farewell party, and even then I would only stay there for 15 minutes to say goodbye.
When they asked me why I was so antisocial, I explained that I didn’t drink or smoke, and that I didn’t enjoy being around people when they did. This was a completely alien concept to them, I don’t think they were ever really satisfied with my reasons. Oh well.